Ellen changed her mind about 2764.7 times. She wanted to be a cow, a princess (though I’m not sure she knows what a princess is), a pumpkin, a mouse and a unicorn. She and Sissy both ended up with frilly thiftstore dresses and either a wand or headpiece. Generally, all four will simply dress up, not necessarily as SomeThing. The boys dressed with thriftstore stuff making themselves scary. They weren’t AnyThing. They all scored enormous quantities of candy; I was amazed at how much they amassed. Last year and the year before I’d done the Sugar Sprite (she spirits candy away, throughout the year and leaves gifts in their stead) but this year the boys refused to participate and the girls followed stead. So after taking out all the “bad” candy and candy that was not really bad, but just what mom or dad wanted, we left the kids to their enormous quantities of candy for the night. They were up early this morning hitting the bags of candy hard. By now, with sugar running rampant through their veins, they were surprisingly open to considering the Sugar Sprite. Ellen, Sissy, Catie and Becky all got matching shoes and polly pocket playdough. Pike decided to trade his enormous bag for $5. Jesse is slowly plowing through his. We are all soaring and crashing on the sugar and I will be glad when Chet takes the stash with him to the firehouse.
I’ve been trying to figure out my funk and while driving the kids to see Drew (I am not sure if I do anything other than drive the kids to see Drew and Sara), I gave myself some empathy and figured this much out. I am feeling overwhelmed with the poverty and racism and lives lived in hopelessness that runs rampant through society. I am somewhat relieved and feeling let off the hook at the knowledge that I personally can’t make a difference in the life of anyone but guilty at the same time because I know that is not true. I feel guilty that I am not doing something about the injustice that I know blankets the lives of so many and I know that one person CAN make a difference. I feel lost, not knowing where to start, what to do, how to effect change. I am wanting direction, purpose, certainty that we’re not squandering time and energy by living a life of loafing. I am incredibly disressed by the amount of money we’re spending on pure crap.
I’ve been somewhat effective at bringing NVC into the family; this morning Jesse admonished me, “but don’t EVERYONES (meaning HIS) needs matter?” Argh.
Please tell me what NVC is. I really don’t think you mean ‘National Visa Center’. Do you mean ‘Non-violent Communication’?
click the link (I’ve got to change the colors so you can see there is a link there) – it is http://www.cnvc.org
Or, I guess it could be Not Vaccinating Children…
Having read your most recent posting and spending considerable time pondering your thought-provoking thoughts, I have come to appreciate your ability to not only entertain us with your words, but also to challenge us.
I’ve read that folks who pass the 70 mark begin to look back on their lives and wonder what, if any impact their lives have been for the good of mankind, for amassing wealth, for “making their mark” on the world, etc. We have Mother Teresa, Dr. Tom Dooley, Martin Luther Kings Ghandi, and others who were able to leave deep footprints when they left us.
These were uncommon people, and when we read of all the acts of heroism committed by so many people, I think we rightly wonder what the heck we’re doing in our little part of the world.
And since you asked the question about yourself, I’ll venture a thought.
You made some lasting impressions on many people in South America – good impressions, and many of the people with whom you mingled, were a little less poor after you passed.
Now you have (at least) four little beings in whom you have instilled some very important values. I still recall pictures of them handing out Wedding Congratulation cards and flowers to the gay and lesbians in San Francisco. With all your travels, they’ve also become aware of the world outside of California – not only aware, but appreciative of other life styles, other traditions and other cultures. Can you even imagine what effect they will have as they mature and interact with others?
You have years ahead of you in which you can continue to challenge yourself. For this proud mother, you’ve been a source of love, admiration, and gratitude, as you continue to teach and inspire me.
Your mother “hit the nail on the head”! Your example and influence rolls outward like radio waves from a tower–and you’re the tower! Keep doing just what you’re doing.
mom, you’re going to make me cry. that was the most beautiful thing you said. thank you so much!
“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
- – Howard Thurman Whitman
You have been an inspiration to many, including us, in making our dreams come true. You ARE doing something very significant, so give yourselves credit for that!
Thank you!