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February 8, 2012, 10:05 pm
Cloudy
74°F
real feel: 76°F
humidity: 82%
sunrise: 6:22
sunset: 17:44
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SNOW!!

elk creek 023 We will most likely be saying goodbye to Micheal in a month. He is unwilling and/or unable to put forth the effort to participate in our family. He would rather be homeless than put someone other than himself first. To say this is an enormous surprise and disappointment to Jamie and myself is an understatement. Jamie has not been able to sleep or eat for weeks; the situation with Michael has been eating away at him. Today we told him that we would be unable to wait a full month of him proving himself; in his own words he says he will “try”, “doesn’t want to”, “can’t do that”, “doesn’t like that”, “doesn’t think he can”. We are hoping that if our expectations are zero, it will be much less frustrating when he decides not to help out. It is a terribly sad situation; that someone would prefer homelessness to making an effort and deciding to put the needs of others ahead of their own. It is incomprehensible to Jamie and myself that someone would not be chomping at the bit to help “pay” back (not monetarily) the effort we have made to bring him back from the brink of homelessness. We would both be working our asses off to work off our “debt” (emotional and, quite frankly, financial; we have to keep saying “no” to stuff the kids want to do because we spent around $6000 on Michael alone) and can’t imagine the concept of just saying, “no; I’d rather YOU do the work; I deserve a break”. We have never seen this attitude in him in all the years we’ve known him, but he has always been a very solitary animal and perhaps this was what was hidden. We now can imagine why none of his friends in Tahoe would help him.

Today we headed up to our old stomping grounds from last year; the top of the Cumbres Pass to see our old spot. We then headed down to Elk Creek Campground where we spent Labor Day last year and the kids played in the stream until the remnants of Hurricane Lane rolled in. By the time we got to the top of La Manga Pass it was almost impossible to see, snow was accumulating on the sides of the road and piling up on the windshield of the car. At first we were incredibly excited until the realization dawned that should the snowfall increase, we’d have a hard time getting over the second pass, Cumbres. Luckilly, it is slightly shorter than La Manga Pass and we had no trouble. It is raining here in the campground and I’m glad we have hookups and are not boondocking with a defective generator at the top of Cumbres Pass, snow in the making for tonight. We will probably stay here another night and then head to Colorado Springs, where we hope to get the generator fixed and Jamie to get some most excellent (sans snow) riding in.

4 comments to SNOW!!

  • Dr. Chrissy

    Dear Kit & Jaime – I’m so sorry that you guys are in this position with Michael. You both have hearts of gold and I’m so proud of you guys for the tremendous effort you made to help a friend. I can only imagine the agony that Jaime is going through – uncertainty, frustration, betrayal. We’re keeping you in our thoughts and send all our love to you in what seems to be an excruciatingly difficult time. On a sweeter note, pre-holiday catalogs have begun arriving. One is the American Girl catalog. Catie has decided that she must have a doll with “hair.” In choosing from the 15-odd “just like me” dolls with a variety of hair and eye and skin tones, she chose one with short brown hair and brown eyes. I finally learned why she is so stuck on this doll when she explained to TaTa today.. “because it looks like Sissy!” (duh!) Lots of love, Christina

  • Dear Kitty & Jamie:

    I’m sorry for the pain you’re both going through. But it sounds much like addiction. You cannot cure the addict. They have to decide they have a problem. Only then can help given them actually help. Even then, many cannot follow through.

    But be assured it’s not your fault that you cannot fix Michael. If Michael cannot accept the normal and natural obligations of living with others, it’s not your fault. It’s Michael’s fault, and Michael must accept the consequences of that. Michael appears to value living how he wants to live above all else (as we all do). I think he will be much less bothered by leaving than you will. As much as you can, try to let go and accept and respect his decision. It is his, and only his, decision to make. And don’t stop loving him because he wants to live his life his way. It’s his life. Not yours.

    love, dad

  • I am sorry that you are going through that. It is tough to see anyone you care about make decisions that are bad for them.

  • John Calypso

    It took me a long time to learn about tough love. We can do too much for people and cause them more harm than good at the end of the day. I think your dad has good advice up there – don’t take it hard. Do what is best for your family as they must come first.

    Saludos – John Calypso

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