What kind of person gets angry at her brother and shows it by having his family pack up and leave in the dark? I’m still in shock. I still can’t believe we’re at a Days Inn instead of Aunt Ellen’s farm. I still can’t believe she and Jamie were arguing about the fact that she is the ONLY one (her sentiments) in the family who cares about family. And I guess the way you show how much you care about family is to get angry at them, tell them to pack up and leave, and alienate your only nieces and nephews (Ellen is the only one who wants to see Aunt Ellen again). Apparently, Aunt Ellen is very stressed out. Aunt Ellen drinks an incredible amount of alcohol. I explained to the kids last night that maybe she was drunk, that she does love them a lot (but I’m having trouble with the idea that someone who loves you would make you leave her house because she is mad at your dad), that she was really stressed out, but they were all completely devestated. They really enjoy being at the farm, the love hanging out with her and the animals and had been looking forward to being with her at the farm for a very long time.
So, last night, when we should have been eating the dinner I made, we frantically tidied the trailer, stowed stuff, packed stuff away, hitched up the van in complete darkness, inched backwards down a dark dirt driveway and drove to Neenah looking for a place to stay. We had no idea where to go and after trying a couple places ended up at the Day’s Inn. We need electricity to run the heater as it gets quite below freezing at night here.
So I’m still in shock. I keep turning it over and over in my head; I wasn’t around for the argument, I was in the trailer with the kids, and I can’t wrap my mind around how this can be ok. How does she justify this? We used not one crumb of her food, we cooked dinner for her, Maca and Nate nightly (though I found out she hates all the foods I cooked), we did use her washing machine (I told Jamie not to :)), we left food in her fridge, we brought her gifts and a brand new coffee machine, how are we such terrible freeloaders and how is it ok in her mind to tell us to pack up and leave in the dark? With 4 young children? She has hurt the children terribly and I will NOT allow that to happen again.
7 responses so far ↓
1 Dr Paul // Oct 26, 2006 at 10:15 am
“Aunt Ellen drinks an incredible amount of alcohol.”
Can you say alcoholic? Remember it’s a disease and an addiction, not a life style choice.
We were almost shocked when we learned the clinical definition of addiction: It’s chronic (you never will not be an addict), progressive (it gets worse and worse), and fatal (sooner or later it will kill you).
So perhaps the kids could understand Aunt Ellen better in those terms that to be angry with her as if she acted rationally albeit negatively towards them.
This is not to say Aunt Ellen should be excused for her behavior, but understood why she might have behaved as she did. And to teach your children to be careful with alcohol.
love, dad
PS> My grandfather Abraham threw me and my Mother out on literally a dark and stormy Winter night. I certainly remember the occasion, or where we went, but don’t feel it scarred me for life, nor did it affect my relations with my Grandfather in later years. So I wouldn’t worry too much about the kids. They’re probably a lot more resiliant than we give them credit for. You might be surprised to learn how many of the things you and Jamie do that they think are crazy… :o)
2 alisa // Oct 26, 2006 at 10:43 am
still shocking, nonetheless, especially after so much happy anticipation. i’m really bummed for you all, and hope that some ammends can eventually be made, or at least a waning sense of bitterness. how sad for her, and for you all, too.
3 Dr Paul // Oct 26, 2006 at 12:28 pm
Shocking? Perhaps. But family members are often able to reach down and find a way to hurt one another. There’s so much history to plow….
I try to remember to look for the positive lesson that can be found if looked for. For example, make sure the kids understand the potential alcohol has to cause grief. The only “drug” that’s more dangerous is tobacco.
paul
4 jody // Oct 26, 2006 at 3:25 pm
I am so very sorry. It breaks my heart for you guys and the kids. Kids anticipate so much, and to be disappointed like that must have really hurt their feelings
What your dad said for sure.
And ((((Hugs))))!
5 janet // Oct 26, 2006 at 7:33 pm
Oh my! and the weather is cold on top of all that is going on. Such a shame !!!! Especially after alll the happiness you had last week.
Kathy, are you using a different email address these days? I ccd you on an email that I sent to your mother and it has come back twice as undeliverable. I have a question about the Tecate border crossing that you may be able to help me with.
Stay warm, pop some popcorn and play some games. The family you have right there with you in the trailer are the most important ones.
6 MB // Oct 26, 2006 at 8:31 pm
I’m so sorry to hear of this Kathy (and Jamie, and all the buglings.)
If you change your mind and head to Baja this winter, I promise we’ll try and make it up for you. I even promise to like your cooking!
Lots of love and hugs.
7 chris // Oct 28, 2006 at 8:19 pm
well if you keep driving east I rpomise not to throw you out. In fact I might never let you leave
sorry the children had to experience that sort of disappointment.
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