We have always known that Pike was a true worshipper of the God of Food, but I never realized how much I had underestimated my last-born.  Last night she made up her Birthday Menu, and it reads as follows (in the order she dictated):

Piñata
Chocolate cake with powdered chocolate (like for chocolate milk) on top and caramel icing

Breakfast:
bacon
toast
cereal
sausage, coffee, little smokies and donuts

Dinner:
fried chicken
tortillas
salad
fruit salad (grapes, cherries, strawberries, watermellon and cantelope)
steak

(do I sense a true carnivore here?)

Lunch:
spaghetti
hamburgers

Snacks (this list about killed me)
crackers
gum
cookies
candies
apples
cheetos
small round pieces of sausage (Jamie makes sausage patties from ground pork)
orange juice
apple juice
water
chips
cut up pineapple
muffins
corn
ham and cheese sandwiches on crap bread

I predict she will eat about 5% of the food here.  She weighs about 20 kilos dripping wet.

Somehow I blanked on the fact that we will be in Merida on her birthday and she is totally rolling with it.  And is very much looking forward to TWO parties – one in Merida and one when we return.

Edited in – the title comes from http://winterson.com/2005/06/episode-iii-backstroke-of-west.html Enjoy.

So, I keep nagging him about ass cancer and how I’d much rather have brain cancer and even die than have ASS cancer – I mean, what a horribly embarrassing cancer to have, ASS CANCER?!!!??  And we finally got his ass to the doctor this morning.  This referral doc ($35USD) was a gastro doc who verified that the tumor is really not anywhere near the gastro devices (well, geez, *I* could have told him that) and that it is hard and fixed and since it waxes and wanes in size related to Jamie’s cycling, is probably cycling-induced and benign and maybe a fibrous tumor.  But we definitely need to get it checked out.  So he refers us to an orthopedist (which is who we should have gone to in the first place if we’d been thinking and all, but what with my brain cancer…) and tells us while we’re at it to get a pelvic x-ray and take that to the ortho.  He called the ortho and explained the whole situation and I left a message with the Ortho to get an appointment in the next couple days.  We hope.  So we’re on top of the ass cancer situation.  Except we really don’t expect ass cancer.  I mean, cancer is bad enough, but to say you have ASS cancer would REALLY suck.  If it were me, I’d just change it to something less laughable.  If you’re unfortunate enough to have cancer it would really suck to have people laugh at you when you told them what kind.  And ass cancer isn’t really something people are going to respect.  I told you our humour is dark.

While we were out doing our doctor tramites we decided to try and follow the very vague directions the receptionist gave me for the ENT referral and see if talking in person might give some insight into the exam and prices.  After the last doctor visit, I called the ENT I was referred to, was told the consult fee was $500MN (but depending on what he did it could be $500 or $700 but I really had no idea what made the difference).  They gave me vague directions to find the place – 5 blocks from Bodgea look to the left, something about 2 green houses, something maybe about Plaza Chihhuaha, something I obviously missed – and strangely enough we could NOT find the place!  I know!  Surprised me too!  So we stopped at Bodega and got some groceries and headed to Hospiten to see if they have an ENT and what they charge.  Their ENT is at a congresso (I’m guessing a convention or something) but they have an ENT coming down from Cancun on Tuesday and Thursday to cover.  Their charge is only $495MN and I took the bait.  The boys have a dentist appointment tomorrow so I’m sure we’ll be bleeding pesos really soon.

The vertigo is getting really really bad but I’m pretty sure it is bad-attitude vertigo and not brain cancer, though jamie has his money on brain cancer.  Considering that SSD would pay my dependents about $3000USD/month and I have a $300K USD life insurance policy on my head, he’s picked the winner.  I think it is time to knock-off the mommy.  I’m worth MUCH more dead than alive.

In other news, due to the Grito and my vertigo getting incredibly worse, all our routines pretty much fell apart.  I stopped tracking my food intake (but am hanging solidly at 79 kilos – didn’t check this morning – could be I’ve regained all 11 kilos overnight – you never know), stopped exercising (vertigo much worse towards the end of day and due to the heat, we always exercise at the end of the day), stopped reading to the kids, stopped all academics, and yesterday decided to start getting back on track.  Pikey, however, has been motoring right along, continuing with his math, copywork and reading.  I can’t tell you all how incredibly proud I am of that boy.  He learned to read around 10 (just didn’t put it together well until then) and then only read for information; never for pleasure.  I accepted that; I didn’t really like it as I really would have loved to share the joy of reading with him, but accepted that it was just different for him.  The last couple months, however, he has developed a joy of reading.  He picks out books and enjoys them.  I am so happy he has found this little world of reading good books – it just warms my heart.  And he continues to methodically work through his math, even when it is difficult, and strives to understand and master the concepts.  He’s not just going through the motions.  I am just so very very proud of him.

We do a Tuesday Tea Time each Tuesday (or Wednesday or Sunday – however it works out) and a Friday Freewrite (where the boys and I write for 10 minutes straight – no editing, no composing, a free-flow of words) for a few months now.  Last Friday (or whatever day it ended up that we did it) Jesse wrote some lovely prose about fireworks.  I’ll have to see if he’s interested in sharing, but it was so beautiful to see the writing come alive in him.

We’re still slogging through Japan and today I think we’re starting on Korea (but I’m not exactly sure).  I’m finalizing the plans for our stuides of the Ancient Cultures and can’t wait to begin and at the same time, wish I’d done a better job on World Cultures.  If nothing else, I’ll be able to do a better job with the girls on their 2nd go around.  I need to update the homeschool blog but that means I’d have to organize stuff on my end and that’s just not going to happen.

We went to the doctor on Monday and Jamie was told his ass mass is most likely a lump of fat but that he should get a biopsy to make sure, so Please, stop for a moment and harrass him about that, Ok?  I mean, I’m dizzy (shutUP Dr. Chris!) but he needs serious medical intervention!  The doc told me that I should avoid the tabanos (the yellow flies) and DOH!, I smacked my head with the raw intelligence in this statement, and take a corticosteroid (Celestamine NS = Betamethasone) instead of Benadryl but everything I read says Benadryl.  Since I already have the Benadryl, and it has worked thus far, I’m sticking with it.  The drug he recommended to treat the vertigo/dysequilibrium (It seems to be a combination) is Nimotop and the only use I can find for it is for subarachnoid hemmorages (brain hemmorage) and I don’t like the side effects especially since my blood pressure already runs somewhat low.

So the next couple days both jamie and my and Ellen’s heads exploded with migraines and we forgot the world.  Whenever the weather gets wacky here (as it normally does, especially in these tropical times) Jamie and I get wicked sinus headaches.  I had a “sinus headache” that put me in bed for a day and is still tender 2 days later.  Jamie gets migraines and had an all-day migraine.  So I didn’t do anything about the medicines the doctor prescribed, preferring to dig a deep hole in the sand and fill it with my head.  On a bright note, the kids are LOVING Tuesday Tea Time and Jesse has begun to share stories with us.

So, yeah, I need to go back to the doc and talk about the vertigo/medicines and see what is what.  I’d also much rather not “treat” something unless I know what we’re treating; if he is hoping this SAH medicine will treat the dysequilibrium then that is great but I’d really hate taking meds unless there is a need for them.  I might try to go down this afternoon.  I also need to get dentist appointments lined up.  And Sissy turns NINE soon!

We had an amazing Monday – it is so necessary to take a day off from our routine and that is usually Sunday but something was happening Sunday so we went Monday.  Down to Tulum where the waves were small but the beaches were empty and we picinicked under a coconut tree and swam in the warm sea and stuffed our bellies with roasted chicken.

Right now rain is coming in; the sky has clouded over and the wind has picked up. The wind always picks up pretty well just before the water dumps. We’re back in the wet season and the mozzies are living each and every drop.

We’re very seriously thinking about taking a short trip to the US – to get a different landscape around us, to pick up stuff we can’t get here, to visit with friends and family – but can’t exactly decide when. I had thought we’d go after the biggest months of hurricane season (July and August) but we might go up for only August. That early we may even be able to partake of some of New Mexico and check out the Silver City area that we’ve always wanted to visit. Yes, you can get a little jaded with the perfect turquoise, the brilliant blue, the puffy white and the crystal clear seas. Jamie needs him some mountains.

I have upgraded to Firefox 3 and I have to say I’m not very happy. Or maybe it doesn’t play well with Hughes, but I have had the slowest machine in the world (irregardless of the fact that it is slowly dying) and can only point the finger at FF. And on a very personal nature, let’s just say that Jamie has been a Very Happy Boy lately. And we intend to keep it that way.

We didn’t get to Bead Beach on Sunday as Jesse, Jamie and Sissy were all under-the-weather, but hope to find time this week to visit. Otherwise, we’ll head out next Sunday. So no pictures for the near future.

I’ve also removed ALL users who registered on the site (it never was required) and did everything that the article I linked to yesterday from Holy Schmoly recommended. The hardest thing was to change the database table prefixes and while I found a script that would have done that, I decided to do it manually, just for the doubt. I forgot to change wp-config.php afterwards and WP thought I was doing a new install and I think that is what hosed the database. If you’re doing this, make SURE you backup your database (I did it with phpadmin instead of the WP plugin because I wanted to be absolutely certain of it).

If wordpress.com hosts your database I don’t think you’ll have any problem.

In other news, it was grey and overcast and so incredibly muggy yesterday and all the rain has created super-colonies of mosquitos. I’d forgotten how bad they could be after much rainfall. It is simply awful out there unless you are immediately on the beach and enjoying a strong offshore breeze. Otherwise you’re totally screwed and fresh meat for the hungry mozzies. I’ve been trying to ensure our vacant neighbor palapas are either free of standing water or I drop detergent in the standing water to make it inhospitable to mozzies looking to grow the family.

I’ve dropped 6 kilos so far and am very proud of myself. I have never set out to lose weight before and (who knew!) that limiting intake while increasing burning would make such a profound difference? Go figure! I’ll probably play with this theme more later and might add other themes that you can switch to but right now I have a LOT of studying to catch up on. If you run WordPress, please make sure to upgrade and visit the link above. Sigh. Oh, I thought I’d add a pretty picture to take my mind off the mozzies, hackers and lack of studying. It is COMPLETELY unrelated to current events (as I post, I don’t even know what pic I’ll choose! )

Oh, and Jamie would like everyone to know he is a crackpot driver. Um, maybe just a crackpot. Hmm… I don’t think that’s the message he wanted to impart. Maybe a race-car diver in-training? Nope, I’m pretty sure that’s not it either. Hmmmm….maybe a cracker-jack driver? A crappy driver? NO! I KNOW he wouldn’t have wanted that message sent. Would he???? Oh, and he is TOTALLY all about the journey too! Except when he’s driving. And then there is no journey. But back to the driving. He is a really really really good driver. Except when he’s driving to Punta Allen. (i’m not sure I was able to convey the message he had in mind)

We are completely and utterly hooked on “Six Feet Under”. Unfortunately, we have to wait til all the kids are asleep to watch it and this means that we are regularly up until 2am. We’ve got to find another solution. I’m pretty sure, from doctor visits and Internet research, that Jamie has Prostatitis. I found a really good support website and have a plan. The antibiotics don’t seem to have helped him with the majority of his symptoms but that seems typical for this condition. He’s going to have a urine culture and a DRE (just can’t get enough of those) for a second opinion on enlargment (thus far, he has been found to be inflamed but not enlarged, which is an important distinction). We’re hoping that bioflavanoids ((Prosta-Q) will be the “magic” cure it has been for many other men, but have a laundry list of many other treatments. For many men, this is a chronic condition that they simply “deal with” until they find a treatment (some pharmacutical, others dietic) that works. I am hopeful

So off we tramped to the hospital this morning; kids with their Knex, books and Ellen with a headphone and cassette of Fairytales. Ellen in a sundress and Jesse dressed for the snow. These kids… Colon doc looks to be all of 16. He claims to be 32 but I had my doubts. He is also drop dead gorgeous. He listens to the whole history and asks if doc 1 did a DRE. He insists on doing one; he is homing in on the problem. After Jamie about faints with pain from the DRE doc is almost certain Jamie’s trouble is infected prostrate. He gave us a receta for a VERY EXPENSIVE antibiotic and 2 weeks worth turned out to be some 800 pesos. At least he warned us. He seems very confident that this is a simple infected and inflamed prostrate and Jamie should be feeling much better in a week. So think of him, will you? He was a wonderful doc; English was pretty good and I supplemented with Spanish. He took a lot of time with us; even when a nurse interrupted that a surgery was planned and upcoming he said he’d be ready and never rushed us; listened and waited until we were perfectly comfortable.

We’ve been doing some trailer projects; Jamie installed connectors in the cargo “basement” so we can close the cargo doors and still have Internet connection (tripod is outside). He also replaced the rails on 3 drawers and man oh man, are we SO EXCITED about having drawers that work! I can’t tell you how nice it is after so many months of crappy working drawers.

So, lots of minutea and not much substance. But my brain is pretty empty most of the time anyway. We hope to move to a more deserted area outside town where it will be more quiet or maybe we’ll head over Ensenada way before heading up to the Bay Area for Christmas.